Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I say the p.o.o.p word too much

So ever since I was in the most awk ages of the pubescent years...a.k.a 'Middle School'... I have been giving everything and everyone nicknames. And these nicks didn't have to make was just whatever came to me. My little sister Kailey got the worst of it....we {the other sisters and I} just called her whatever came out of our mouths without any thought behind it. Monday it might be a friendly "hey pookie bear" and by Saturday it usually got to a "what up globby chunky turd nug" {idk....seriously the things we said}.

I am pretty sure my step siblings were scared of me the whole first year after our parents were married because I called them Easter and Nepper. Sorry if I can't remember that "normal" people might be offended or slightly frightened by my approach. But I happen to think it should be taken as a compliment.

So get to the that I have everything around me already named....obvi Housh is going to be my nickname victim since he is my baby boy...aaaaand he's a dog... so he can't say anything about it. So we {everyone else starts using these nicknames for him because they are dog-gone catchy} have probably called him 100 different things in this his first year of life. The little rebel hardly responds to anything so its not like it makes a difference.

For some random unknown ridiculous reason for about the past 3 or 4 weeks I have been calling Housh "poop face". Hahaha. Poop face. I have no idea why. I know its not the most "endearing" thing to hear...but you get what ya get and ya don't throw a fit.

Since Scottee left on Saturday{tearsobtear} we have been feeling bad that come work time the pup would have to be put in the laundry room for 8 hours while we're at work. We can't leave him out because he does not yet appreciate the fact that some things are just untouchable. Scottee felt really bad about it too...he has been hanging out with him during the days and he has grown accustomed to a certain standard of living. SO Scottee convinced us to put the doggy gate up in the kitchen entry and let him stay in the kitchen all day so he had more room to do his doggie thing. SO we did... and he did... and we thought it was a great win-win solution.

But when I got home from work I ran in to see my little lovie... but the first thing I see is... a knocked over trash can with shredded up trash and brown mushy shizzz all over!!!! And by all over I mean like literally 10 little logs of the stinky mass. That number was 10! Ok...maybe 9 1/2. How does that happen? I mean...did he purposefully eat the entire contents of the trashcan so he could push out as many poops as he could all over the kitchen in rebellion?!?! Anyway I cleaned everything while being fuming mad and told the little fart face that his father would take care of him when he got home.

The funny happened when I flushed the last piece of the toilet papel and got down on the floor to pet the stinky fur ball. & then I see his face. His POOP FACE. He. literally. had. poop. on. his. face!!! He had a hilarious naive blank stare and poop in his face fur right below his eye. I bust up obvi because he looks like a poop-faced chewbacca that thinks he totally got away with doing whatever it was he was doing to get the shi on his face. You can't pull off the 'i'm rockin poo on my face' look son. But it did make my day.

Point being: Apparently my nicknames have a power. The victim's subconscious picks it up and forces them to become the nickname...whatever it may be. Now I am a little worried about my little sister though. I better call and make sure she hasn't become a 'puffy lug-nut' or a 'furry butter butt'.

p.s. Can't wait to show off the little man in his Halloween costume!!!! socutesocutesocute.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My husband quit his job...

My husband quit his job yesterday. Without discussing it with me. And he told me at 8 am. Right after I woke up. While he was supposed to be at work. & while he was playing Madden on Xbox. Three things I do not like are:
1. Waking up 2. Madden on Xbox {'specially with the dorky headset} 3. Husband quitting a good job that gives us moolah and health insurance.

Needlesstosay, he felt the need to bring these items home to me...

It worked. Three things I do like are 1. Chocolate 2. Roses 3. Having a husband that takes care of me and is so much of a 'hotfromtheoven' stud muff that he had another job lined up and has been doing so well at it already!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Dub Date!

Highlights and lowlights of our Double Date with Brandon and Melani. Ok it was actually all pretty great but I always like to recognize quirks of the day...

Great times at Macaroni Grill: Good food, good company, and a 'coloring on the table' contest!

Not so good: Making reservations thinking it's gonna be packed on a Friday night. But it turned out that we were one table of probably only 3 that were occupied. Creeped me out. & kinda makes you wonder.

Great times at the Comedy Show: Our funny cousin tearin it up on stage, some Punk'd guy headlining, drunk table next to us busting up at every joke {that was entertaining for about 3 minutes}.

Not so good: Mel and I had to pee since the very beginning of the show but were forced to keep drinking {ok maybe not forced...per se} because there was a 2 drink minimum. So by the end of the show it was almost 1 am and we were rushing to the restroom. Try laughing with a full bladder for 2 hours... kinda painful.

Fave part of the night: This picture. I got up to take a test photo with my TUPID camera that won't even focus to take a picture! Anyway...I am just really liking the personalities coming out in this one...

The gang at Papi Chulo's
{Alex the comedian, Melani, Brandon and their cuddle buddy Chris}

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Witch with a W

So my Momsie sent over a fab lil package with something she saw at the store that made her think of me...a WITCH hat! Bahahaha {cackle cackle cackle}! Purple and black with a lacy veil and falsie spiders intertwined. Just the right amount of dramatic affect I need to wear around the house and make me feel like I HAVE to get into the role of the trendy witch OR to add a flair to my Halloween decorations. Of course I had to do a lil photo shoot with it. I was feelin it but this is what happened when I tried to get those boys to try it on...

...suddenly nap time...

...suddenly snack time (with the paws up for defense)

It has now become the finishing touch to my Halloween Decor! Tanks Moms.

So I'm on these meds....

Meaning medication. I have some medical issues that I am dealing with. So I have decided to become a legal pill popper. I have to take some nasty pills on the daily. And they make me just a little bit psycho. And by a little I mean 'the maximum amount of psycho in the way that I can't control my emotions or body because I am like a 12 year old girl just hitting puberty and I feel bad for husband and any others that come in contact with me because I will either start crying and bear hug them or slap them across the face and storm out of the room'. See how I could get those two things confused?

There have unfortunately been banana amounts of side effects on my abnormal cuerpo. I am sure most of them would be pretty entertaining for me to write about and then read about myself. pause. NOT. The most noticeable S.E. {side effect...duh} by far is my unstable emotionality.

Now, before these pills my brother had already nicknamed me 'MM' for MoodSwing Melissa. And husband once felt the wrath of 'MM' when we were playing a game and he chose MY NAME {out of 5 options} as the best definition of 'Temperamental'. So mix in a couple pills to the existing MM and there is gonna be a prob.

Day 2 of these pills I cried at least 5 times. Here's the break down...

1. I was hard at work on my day off scrubbing down our kitchen trash can and I began thinking about my niece Lucy. I miss her. So, I start crying. In front of the embarrassing.

2. Husband was working and having a very successful sales day. I was driving to Michael's for craft supplies. When he called to tell me 'bout it I got foggy eyed and almost had to pull over. My explanation: I was just so proud of him for being a hard worker.

3. I asked Scottee to go to the grocery store with me and he straight up said no. I really wanted some company so naturally I got a lil emotional.

4. Commercials. They just do it to me.

5. I was on the elliptical gettin my fitness on...listening to Katy Perry Teenage Dream...and watching some MADE {without the sound}. that's it. sometime during that I cried. W-T-Heck?

Keep in mind...these 5 were just the beginning. And I just realized why I don't have many friends. And most of the ones I have are they have to like me. :) Not joking.

It's a good thing this medical condition has also given me a shopping my needs are fulfilled while husband is working. God bless that man. The day after this 'emotional overload' Chris was giving a talk in church. He told me the goal for his talk was to make me cry. Geee-heez...set your goals a lil higher love...I was obs tearing up when I just saw him lookin handsome after he got dressed for church. Oh vey!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

OreO ObsessiOn

Remember my problem with the apothecary jar obsession I have acquired? I hit the jackpot-ding ding ding ding ding!!!! I'll skip the story since it's not funny or entertaining and there is way too much math for my liking. So. long story short- I went in the store to return a $10 item and ended up exchanging for a beautiful 20 something dollar apoth jar and some red masking tape and still got $8 back!!! I know...luck duck. I get way too excited about a good deal.

So I still haven't found the perfect large apothecary jar set to fulfill my decorative desires. But I do love my new gumball shaped jar so much. I wanted to do something extra special with it! I decided to couple it with one of my most favorite things of all time. OREOS! That's double stuffed Oreos to you! Now I have an 'oreo jar' and I vow to always have it filled for visitors. Makes me happy ♥ I'm in love in so many ways.

Friday, October 15, 2010

sophisticated palate

It's official. we have a high maintenance pooch. He won't eat any dog food that has "yellow corn" listed as the first ingredient. How he knows this beats me seeing as how Chris, his father, would eat dog food if I put it in front of him and said it was chicken {yes, I realize he is not his biological father...i'm not that insane dog lady that thinks her pets are actually her children}. I just thought that example would rub off on Housher.

I have tried a couple different foods and none fully please him. Last week I got the small furry man some new food and an hour after eating it he threw up a block of all the food he ate still in full form...only a lil soggy. A block! It was the sickest looking thing! And it wasn't like this was some off brand Wal-Mart was pedigree for cryin out loud.

So I caved and bought the "fancy expensive high-class meat-is-listed-as-the-first-three-ingredients" type of food. Now he is happy.

This bearded guy's favorite things are: chewing on sweaty socks straight off your feet after a workout & rolling in his own p.o.o.p...but he won't eat dog food that has more corn than meat. Go figure.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Who killed Allen?

On Monday some of our favorites, Melani and Brandon (&the adorb baby Brax o'course), invited us over to carve pumpkins! It was a perfectly splendid time! We filled our tummies with Mel's scrumptious Chili and Cornbread and then picked up some pumps from the grocery store that we could carve up!

The boys both carved some wonderfully ridiculous faces and Mel and I carved creatures of sorts. By that I mean she carved a rad spider and I carved a sweet owl sitting on a branch...named Allen. So like I said it was a great time and we took our creative 'kins home to decorate our patio as well as cherish the memories that were created that night {it was our first time ever carving pumpkins together OK?!}

So I placed Allen the owl and Harvey the goofhead on our patio ledge and lit them up to enjoy the decorative Halloween glow. We loved having our first pumpkins at our abode. All was festive and magical in the air.

So two days pass and I think..."I wonder how Allen and Harvey are doing? Maybe I should pay them a visit." {They are hanging out on the back patio that we don't visit often}. So I push the noisy blinds open and sliiiiiiide the glass doors to the side to reveal a truly sickening sight. Allen has been murdered! I gasped... and then {obvi} started laughing. Weird looking things are just funny to me. Just the sight of him was sad and pathetic and he stood no chance out there on that deadly ledge. At first I didn't even know what I was looking at. It was like the adorable content pumpkin owl had disappeared and been replaced by an atrocious shriveled mystery mass hanging down from the carved out pumpkin branch. It looked a lil something...or a lot this...{before looking at the disaster take another lil peek at what it is supposed to look like up above cute}

What happened might you ask? Easy. It was Harvey. Look at that psychotic brilliant face. He totally has that genius turned serial killer...guilty look. Don't worry...I separated them and told them I would have Chris deal with them when he got home from work.

Ok i'll be honest. Yes, that is mold inside the rotting pumps. And yes it is from the pumpkins sitting out in the hot Arizona sun. And yes it is still in the 90s even though its mid Octubre. And yes that is {probably} what killed Allen and it's {probably} not Harvey's fault. Yes I am the idiot who did it. Goodbye our pleasant plump pumpks...RIP.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I made this...

...and I am feelin it! I definitely tend to lean more towards the 'modern style' when decorating {heck if I know if that's what you'd call it}. I like the simple and bold more than the fru fru-ed and cLuTtErEd. So I fell in love with this wreath when I saw it on a craft webby and decided to make it. Each of those cornies are hot-glued on individually so it took a long while. But... it was worth it because I hate the taste of candy corn so this is a way for me to enjoy the treat everytime I walk in the door!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

10 reasons why...

...we love date night!

1. I woke up to a text from my loveable husb telling me how excited he was to take me out on a date!

2. We tried out a new place called Chompies... as seen on Man vs. Food. It's a New York Style restaurant complete with a full bakery! The inside makes you feel like you're in New York and the food was deeeelish.

3. We acted like we were on a second date and talked like we were still trying to just get to know each other {this only lasted about 10 mins because someone kept going out of character...hahaha!}

4. I got potato wedge fries and Chris got sweet potato fries and we ate more off each other's plate than our own. {I'm tryin to get those sweet poats more often...}

5. We got to watch two waiters run into each other and make it rain with all the water that was in their pitchers!

6. We got 6 free bagel's for giving them our email address. They had like 15 different flaves! Makes you wonder what they're gonna do with that email...

7. We ditched our original plans and went to a park instead to have a more laid back evening.

8. We drove by Chandler High School and ESPN2 was there for this big game. We were on the lookout for an ESPN truck or announcer. I saw a group of about 5 men standing in the dark with what looked like big black cameras on their shoulders. I got all excited saying "camera crew...there's a camera crew!!! Look for a reporter!". Once we got a bit closer we realized it was a group of men carrying bagpipes and wearing kilts. Not even close. wtf? We laughed about it for a good 5 mins.

9. Out of all the desserts in the bakery we chose a giant chocolate chip cookie because they are my fave. We saved it until we got home since we were stuffed at the restaurant. I modeled with the giant cook for a picture then went to put my comfies on. When I came back there was about 2 bites left and a very happy husband sitting on the couch chewing up the rest of the cookie in his mouth!

10. We held hands. We kissed. & We love each other.

Friday, October 1, 2010

It's a box of ORANGE goodies!

We've received a package from the Queen! The Queen of packages of course. a.k.a. my mother-in-law. She sends us themed packages for all the holidays and we {ok... I} pretty much pass out from excitement every time. Chris obvs loves it too {so much that he opened it without me ): } but I die for anything themed. I can't think of anything better to start a new holiday season! These packages I speak of are l.e.g.i.t. Packed to the brim with so many goodies of all sorts.

The box of orange treasures that arrived today came complete with:
  • An adorable wooden Trick or Treat table decoration
  • An orange striped tie for husband
  • A Halloween beaded bracelet (just for me!)
  • A black loofah with a giant friendly spider inside
  • A pumpkin spice candle (mmmmm...)
  • Madden 2011 (obvs a request from Chris....made his life)
  • A mummy stuffed dog toy for Houshie Bar
  • Bath gel inside a lil plastic ghost (!!!)
  • Turkey Jerky
  • A ghost tea-light decoration
  • Caramel Apple room spray
  • Halloween hologram tissue box
  • Pumpkin spice hand soap
  • Pumpkin style votive holder
  • Spider salt and pepper shakers with holders (my fave!) see pic below..
  • One of those magic wash clothes...get it wet and it expands
  • Cute kitchen towel that says "Eeeeek!" (love!)
  • Cupcake cups with toothpick decor included
  • Car Halloween scented smell goodies
  • Big bag of Orange and Black PB M&Ms
  • Halloween hot cocoa packets (can't wait for weather change)
  • Halloween See's candy pack (notice there was already one missing when I took the pic...I couldn't help it..:)
  • An assortment of other Halloween candies sprinkled throughout
  • & Topped with pumpkin confetti!!!
I know...the most amazing package to date!

EEEeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! So much to do, eat, wear and decorate with!

This was before Houshie completely tore apart the mummy looking for the thing that made it squeak. He found it all right...and de-mummified the mummy in the process.

Die now...these shake salt and pep! The legs are just little holders for the em!

We L♥ve it! Thank you Mama Hayes!
Let the holiday decorating begin!