Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I say the p.o.o.p word too much

So ever since I was in the most awk ages of the pubescent years...a.k.a 'Middle School'... I have been giving everything and everyone nicknames. And these nicks didn't have to make was just whatever came to me. My little sister Kailey got the worst of it....we {the other sisters and I} just called her whatever came out of our mouths without any thought behind it. Monday it might be a friendly "hey pookie bear" and by Saturday it usually got to a "what up globby chunky turd nug" {idk....seriously the things we said}.

I am pretty sure my step siblings were scared of me the whole first year after our parents were married because I called them Easter and Nepper. Sorry if I can't remember that "normal" people might be offended or slightly frightened by my approach. But I happen to think it should be taken as a compliment.

So get to the that I have everything around me already named....obvi Housh is going to be my nickname victim since he is my baby boy...aaaaand he's a dog... so he can't say anything about it. So we {everyone else starts using these nicknames for him because they are dog-gone catchy} have probably called him 100 different things in this his first year of life. The little rebel hardly responds to anything so its not like it makes a difference.

For some random unknown ridiculous reason for about the past 3 or 4 weeks I have been calling Housh "poop face". Hahaha. Poop face. I have no idea why. I know its not the most "endearing" thing to hear...but you get what ya get and ya don't throw a fit.

Since Scottee left on Saturday{tearsobtear} we have been feeling bad that come work time the pup would have to be put in the laundry room for 8 hours while we're at work. We can't leave him out because he does not yet appreciate the fact that some things are just untouchable. Scottee felt really bad about it too...he has been hanging out with him during the days and he has grown accustomed to a certain standard of living. SO Scottee convinced us to put the doggy gate up in the kitchen entry and let him stay in the kitchen all day so he had more room to do his doggie thing. SO we did... and he did... and we thought it was a great win-win solution.

But when I got home from work I ran in to see my little lovie... but the first thing I see is... a knocked over trash can with shredded up trash and brown mushy shizzz all over!!!! And by all over I mean like literally 10 little logs of the stinky mass. That number was 10! Ok...maybe 9 1/2. How does that happen? I mean...did he purposefully eat the entire contents of the trashcan so he could push out as many poops as he could all over the kitchen in rebellion?!?! Anyway I cleaned everything while being fuming mad and told the little fart face that his father would take care of him when he got home.

The funny happened when I flushed the last piece of the toilet papel and got down on the floor to pet the stinky fur ball. & then I see his face. His POOP FACE. He. literally. had. poop. on. his. face!!! He had a hilarious naive blank stare and poop in his face fur right below his eye. I bust up obvi because he looks like a poop-faced chewbacca that thinks he totally got away with doing whatever it was he was doing to get the shi on his face. You can't pull off the 'i'm rockin poo on my face' look son. But it did make my day.

Point being: Apparently my nicknames have a power. The victim's subconscious picks it up and forces them to become the nickname...whatever it may be. Now I am a little worried about my little sister though. I better call and make sure she hasn't become a 'puffy lug-nut' or a 'furry butter butt'.

p.s. Can't wait to show off the little man in his Halloween costume!!!! socutesocutesocute.


  1. I literally am laughing out loud! Haha!You are the master at nicknames and making them stick AND can you please make my nickname insanely rich and has really cute clothes?

  2. I am glad that you just cll me 'momb' ha,,,,ha ha poor houshbut


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