Thursday, March 29, 2012

Three guys.

Three problems on me little mind. Three guys. Three situations I know not what to do. I may need some advice from those with owl wisdom. 


The pup we saved from a flesh wound death{doesn't he just look like a Winston?}. We got a little attached. And yesterday when I called the doggie ER that we took him to {to find out his condition} they told me after you drop off a stray they won’t give you any info. Rude & why? I just want to know if they found any owners so he doesn’t have to be unjustly put to sleep. I feel helpless and worried about the lil bear cub. Boo hoo. 


Someone murdered our beloved butler cactus, Giorgio!  Two nights ago just one limb was down & last night the apparent vendetta driven killer decided to slash his prickly limbs in the middle of the night.  Probably some hooli’s with their pants hanging below their bums. Should I go with hidden camera or boobie trap?



So our two dogs are both fully potty trained and always go potty pot outside. But my sister’s dog, Kobe, that lives with us has this one lil spot inside that he likes to ‘mark’…every. single. day.  A wee bit of pee on the corner of the kitchen trash can. So when I got my shiny new Oscar can {mentioned yesterday}, we bleached the floor and sprayed the can with the stuff that is supposed to repel dogs and crossed our fingers that it was the specific can he liked to wet and not the spot. Wrong-o. Day one of the new trash can in its spot.  Pee. We love yittle Kobe {despite his Lakers name} but this can no longer happen when it involves my weirdly-loved trash can. Someone has to have a solution to have a dog stop marking a spot. Holy jambalaya. PLEASE!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Hump Day Diddies!

{one} Not TGIF yet. But today I can say ‘T.G.I.H.A.H.A.T.B.D.’. Which obviously stands for ‘Thank Gouda I Have a Hair Appointment Today… Because Dang’. Honestly….those woodland-creature's-bushy-tail colored roots ruined every last one of my outfit pictures for today. Yeesh. 

{two} Whilst waiting in the theatre for Hunger Games to start this past weekend I was leisurely checking Bookface when I noticed a status update that said something to the effect of  “If you aren’t a 12 year old girl then  you should not be so excited to see the Hunger Games”. To which I would like to reply, “If you are a complete dip-shin that has not read the books or even know what the story is about then don’t talk out of your rump and assume that it’s a teenie bopper movie…..when it’s actually a very brilliant and suspenseful movie about humans killing each other to stay alive…. and really prob isn’t even appropriate for 12 year old girls”. Unfriend. Don’t insult me when I’m PMSing. Or ever. 

Also, Hunger Games was fantastic and perfect. :)

{three} My husb bought me a garbage can for my birthday. What a peach. sounds bad but it is actually something that I really wanted…but decided I would never spend so much money on something that holds my moldy trash. I told him months ago and then totally forgot about it. And he completely surprised me. Came walking out with a gigantic box wrapped in Christmas paper. And getting it as a gift totally justifies spending money on a trash can. I love that beautiful steel sensored mouth trap can. His name is Oscar. 

{four} Last night we rescued a smelly, dirty, bloody, adorable, sweet doggie in distress on the side of the road. His fur was all rubbed off in the spot where he had a huge bloody cut. It was heartbreaking.  He gobbled down the food we gave him and Kimmie skillfully lured him into the kennel we ran home to grab and we took him to the Emergency Vet. Now I’m on a mission to make sure Winston {our name for him} doesn’t get put to sleep when they transfer him to the HS. 

{five} I just love how everyone at my work knows that I am unreasonably obsessed with Take 5 candy bars. Every time they’re put out in our lobby…3 or 4 are randomly placed on my desk from passerbyers throughout the day. 


Monday, March 26, 2012

Well you can't win em all.

 This outfit picture day is not exact what I {or Charlie Sheen} would call WINNING. I had a saucy little front braid in my hair but the wind was all up in that guy and my accessories were not high five-ing me at all. Someone needs to teach those accessors some manners. Confession....I have three different outfits that I took pictures in that I just straight up did not post up...because of the fugness. Whatcha gonna do?

Monday found me again. But I have been cookin up quite a full schedule this week so hopefully {fingers crossed} it goes by fast and the weekend will greet me again before I even noticed hump day had passed. I planned to workout every day this week since I'm going swimsuit shopping on Saturday {its a mental thing} but between bowling with friends, hair appt, book club, Easter pageant and date night....that's prob gonna be pretty impossibly hard. 

I think I can I think I can I think I can....

 My husband is so proud of my goal. I kinda want to do it just to impress the little stud muff. And also so that every time I tell him "careful...that's hot", he'll keep saying "no YOU are hot"...with a smile. Yep. It's important that he keeps doing that.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Awkward turtle.

So ya know when something is said and for whatever the reason you don't actually hear it until a couple of seconds later? And then you respond. Well here's how it went down....

 A certain pooch-tummy male co-worker that I'm not all that familiar with stops at my desk as he is getting ready to leave for lunch and asks moi...."what should I do for lunch?" 

Naturally I respond with "oooooooooooh you should go to Chick-fil-a. yuuummmmmmmmmm." 

I could tell by his face that this was an A+ idea. He bright-facedly gets incredibly excited about my suggestion and for a flash second I think I have a fellow chick lover on my hands...until he says.... "Yes!!!! CHI-POT-LE! Brilliant.That might be the best idea you've ever had. I am so glad I asked YOU today". 

It must've been the way I perfectly did not slur my words. awkward turtle. Sooo...should I tell him or just take credit for the Chipotle thing? Go wit it. "Mmmmhmmmmmmm" {me nodding & smiling like a crazy}

Then a second of pause. Of quiet. Of the excitement fading. Of us each thinking the same 'thisisgoingtochangeourcoworkerrelationship' thing. 

"Wait.............{thinking}.................did you say... Chick-fil-a?"
Hahahahahaha! {that's in-my-head laughter}

 There is no way out of thata one. So I quietly mumble "yeah...but Chipotle does sound good...too....". He gives me a funny look, gives a kind of pip squeak politician apology and walks on out. 

So...... am I still brilliant?
no chance. 

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Today is my birthday. And I love it.

So my sister Christie wanted to do the dessert for my birthday dinner on Sunday. So she texts me “what do you want for your birthday cake or dessert?”

I was feeling a little silly and decided to answer like the sort of sarcastic wench that I am. So I tell her “IDK…maybe a red velvety cake with hand whipped cream cheese frosting with my birthstones bordering the outside and a soft chocolate crumble topping it off.” {ha. Obvi joke.}

She replies simply,  “what’s your birthstone”. {Hahahahahaha!} 

I reply “I was just kidding! We can just have like brownies with ice cream”

She replies “I’m doing it…what’s your birthstone”.

I reply “I was JUST KIDDING……..but it’s aquamarine…:) ”

And sure enough…

To the teeeee. Edible birthstone dots and all. She was so dedicated to the description that she actually hand whipped the cream cheese and refused to even use the hand mixer…because then it wouldn’t truly be hand whipped. Haha. Oh, it was awesome. She is awesome.

And furthermore....

You know what my mature answer to what my favorite thing is about birthdays? The nice people I know. I have this realization every year that I know such kind and thoughtful people. It’s this birthday thing where people just come through for you. People you haven’t talked to in 10 years write on your facebook, or you wake up with texts from close friends that thought of you  first thing in the morning, or someone you’ve only met once shares that one memory you have with them, or even strangers you walk past while holding birthday balloons give you a birthday greeting. It’s just so…. nice. Everyone cares about you having a good day. And I love that. And it fills me up with fuzzies and spills out all over in mush form like this.

Since I’m assuming only humans read this….Thanks for being good and kind and funny and thoughtful people, people. I appreciate it. You are all invited to my house for my birthday celebration tonight! Oh, you can’t come? Shame. Well it’s the thought that counts :)

Monday, March 19, 2012

Dismal Dots

The weather app on my phone tells me this is supposed to be a surprisingly cold, rainy, windy, dark, dismal week. The way I have to use my windshield wipers, the goosebumps on the one quarter uncovered part of my arm, and my soggy wet pant legs…tell me the same dang thing. I personally think it’s rude. And I refuse to give into the dismality of it all because not only is it my birthday week but it’s also the first week of spring {i'll take bunnies and flowers thank you please}! I hear that the northern states are supposed to get big snow storms coming in.  I feel for you snow covered states. Really, I do.  Everyone boycott it with me...maybe it will change its mind. ‘It’ being the weather's mind of course. Because it has one of those. We can make picketing signs!!! No chance? Fine…hot cider, taco soup and fuzzy blankets it is. I’m cool wit dat.

On another note: I have found that the only pictures that I truly like of myself are the ones where I either look weird and awkward or just don’t look like myself at all. Does anyone else feel this way...or the exact opposite? That is why I like those hunchie/bendy weird pics above. And question: why would I choose to have 2 pairs of jeans that are almost exactly the same… in my 30 items? Mix it up ‘same-outfit wearing’ Waldo. Just noticed that. Buggin.

What am I going to watch while I eat my taco soup tonight….now that the Bachelor is over? Friends reruns it is!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

I really like weekends. Like, really.

I'm thinking that we'll make this type of 'human battery recharge weekend' a regular thing. I am just feeling burnt out as of late. Of work. Of to-do lists. Pretty much just adult life in gen. So this weekend we went out to Tucson and met up with some of my fam that was staying at a resort for the weekend. It was lovely and just what the ol' doc ordered. Plus I got this really cool hair style that's kind of a 'wind-blown from walking around the art festival with some hot tub water sprinkled on top' kind of do. Really attractive. 

Tonight starts my birthday celebration with Birthday Dinner at Mom's. I hope there's something there that's very scrumptiously sugary. Because the 4 hand fulls of peanut butter M&Ms during our card games last night and the large glass of chocolate milk I am currently drinking just doesn't seem to be filling my weekend sugar quota. That's a thing...and an important one to boot! Fingers crossed ;)  

Friday, March 16, 2012

The 30th item.

Let’s talk about these photos. We were heading into Chili’s for a celebratory dinner when we realized we had to snap some outfit pics since it would be much too dark upon our exit. Plus my tummy would be sticking out from fullage. Hence the inappropriate ‘in-yo-face’ lighting and ugly stranger's cars background.

So…this shirt. This properly pink my 30th item. Now the remixing is really on. Before it was just kind of on…with options. I am starting to miss the other items in my closet. I long to take some photos in my new blue skirt or my snazzy silver pumps. But I have something to prove to myself… so I will reach the 30 for 30. Mark my words down please dear Watson!

Side note: It has come to my attention that I {maybe-purposefully} forgot to give credit where fudging credit is due. And that is right on my husband’s winning rump. Chris won our Bachelor competition. Congrats Guinea. There I said it. I don’t love losing. But I guess picking Courtney, the evil groundhog faced witch, paid off. Because now Kimmie and I have to make him whatever dinner and dessert he dang well pleases. Never fear…i'll get him back when the Bach-ette starts in May. Muahaha..

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Banana Hammock

 I was chatting with a small group of my co-works and we were talking about how much it costs to get your name changed. No reason. We then started throwing around ideas of what we would change our names to if we were idiot enough to do it. Everyone was saying stupid, unfunny things like “Ben Dover” and “Abe Ozo”. So obviously I blurt out….

Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! Hahahahaha!!!


I’m chuckling at myself..then notice that awkward kind of stir in the group like “what is this girl smoking {and how do I get some}”. So I feel the need to rebound and say,

“Or I could go with Crap Bag! First name Crap last name Bag.” Hahahahaha!

…Chirp chirp….No one?!  NO ONE knows what it’s from!?!?! Jiminy Christmas. Do we live in America?
I know that not everyone lives in my little world of what I like….but please tell me that someone knew what that was from before I told you. Geeze. I can’t be the only person who ever watched FRIENDS!! The best show ever was on for 10 years. And that scene is just ‘spit on your neck’ hilar.

I have a feeling I’m not going to be invited to water cooler conversation anymore…

P.S. Ironically, JUST NOW as I am typing this story…I asked a dude if he filled out his bracket for March Madness {we’re having an office competition} and he said “what’s that?”. And after several other in-disbelief questions I find that he has no idea what March Madness or even what your run-of-the-mill BRACKET is. 

C'mon gents...this is kind of a nationwide event. So I KNOW I’m not crazy in thinking that you don’t have to be married to a Sports Addict to have at least heard of it. Or am I crazy and obsessed with the world in my head?

I feel like I might be speaking a foreign language today.
At least I got some good laughs. A-haha!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The weekend we wore matching red shoes.

This is what our weekend with AlyPop looked like:

Joe's Farm Grill {for din AND breakfast}, Mani's and Pedi’s, Starbucks, Surprise!! {it's a city}, Ranger's Game {best!}, Ballpark food, Tempe, Dueling Pianos {didn't play our request :( }, Scottsdale, Fashion Square, Sprinkles {red velvs. goodness}, Movie Theatre, Froyo @ Yogurtopia, & an old pictures and memories sesh. 

Yep. That was a helli-copt of a good time.

Highlights reel: 

Since Alyson works for the TX Rangers…she got us great seated ticks to a spring training game! Right when we sat down good, OLD Larry King was standing right in front of us and we exchanged hellos… so we’re pretty much homies by now. Plus Chris caught a ball that one of the Dodgers players threw into the stands. And he’s been smelling it ever since..... Haha. Not kidding.  

The 12 year old girl working at the salon {despite child labor laws} that had crusty banana chips falling out her mouth.. and one eye glued to the Princess Bride while she made us jump from seat to seat….pretty much set the theme for the rest of our salon experience. And my Gel nails have already peeled off. More of a bad cust serve lowlight…but definitely memorable. 

We went to see This Means War and when Chris Pine told Reese he loves her… Alyson honestly thought he was talking to her. So she mesmerized-ingly replied out loud {loud enough for the guy taking up 2 seats at the end of our aisle to hear}  “I love YOU”. Haha! Silly.

The last night we went through a box of old pictures and our heads of old memories. Ranging from elementary to twenties. It was hilar to say the least. Bust guttin memories and ‘what were we thinking’ styles. But really…what were we thinking?

Loved it. 
And then she left me.  Poo. Miss you. Come again.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Once upon a young time in the far away and gigantic land of Texas....I knew of a girl at my elementary school that was silly and had a short, straight across haircut and big glasses. And...let's be honest…I looked exactly like her. Her name was Alyson. And everyone loved her.

In sixth grade…we started hanging out. And from there we became the best of friends. Straight on through all those beautifully awkward middle school and high school years. From glasses to contacts to braces to boobs {she got them...not me. haha}. We grew up together. So many fun times and too many inside jokes and memories to even begin to fathom.

{14 year olds going to the dance together. With our Martha Washington hair-dos.}
 Junior year my family moved to Washington. That was stupid and I was not happy. I missed my friends but everyone told me that you don't stay friends with your high school friends really anyway. But three years later...after my first year of college… I moved back to TX and Aly and I got an apartment together and had the best time possible for anyone to have in life. Really. We worked at A&F together {if you can call it working…} and we got a doggie together…and we traveled together and we made new friends together and we were in-sep-a-ra-ble.